[With everything that happened back at home he found it hard to believe that he came back here. Since Gai and Inori were still on the contact list he assumed they were alive somewhere. It wouldn't hurt to leave Gai a message especially considering how long he's been gone for. Last time Shu ran away from home Gai explicitly stated he wanted a note left somewhere for the both of them, but in this situation it couldn't be helped. The least he could do was apologize for his short comings.]
Sorry for not telling you I left.
[There's a short pause here indicated by a muffled sigh. He doesn't want to be going back to Gai for this. Not after he remembered everything, Triton included. There would be too much explaining involved.]
[There's silence for a moment as Gai mulls over what to say. He's honestly not surprised Shu vanished again-- the boy's luck is terrible enough (and he's forgetful enough) that it's easy for him to believe that Shu simply lost his bracelet or something to that effect. To be honest, he's a little surprised that hasn't happened yet given Shu's track record.
But "telling you I left" implies that he did so voluntarily, which raises a whole host of other questions, all of which Gai intends to ask at some point.]
You mean aside from being worried that you vanished without a word?
[He didn't exactly leave to his own accord. A dog took his bracelet off and he lost it. Unlucky as usual. During his time time away he went back home and somehow carried the Apocalypse Virus symptoms too. Woops. That kind of punishment is fitting for the amount of sins he's committed during Loop 7. At least Souta's cured. As for Shu's void it returned back to him and there's nothing there except for the stub that used to be his arm.
He's going to have to explain this too, isn't he? Shu's not willing to give out all of the details yet. They may be too graphic and they still make him upset to some extent. ]
It couldn't be helped. I went home for a few months.
[He knew that Gai had Inori trapped somewhere in Odaiba and he set out to to save her. Gai doesn't need to know that either, but at least he can stop worrying about that for now. Shu was speaking to the Gai that he's always been used to and the one that he stabbed at Roppongi. It matched up with what Inori said to him earlier and Gai's story of him dying. Forget the white haired Gai for now.]
[To say that Gai isn't curious about what happened in Roppongi and Tokyo after his death would be a lie. But if it's been a few months since the last thing Shu remembered before... that means that Shu has now experienced Gai's death for himself and everything that went along with it.
Shu must remember now-- about Mana, about Lost Christmas, about Triton. In a way, he's glad, because now he'll get the chance to spend time with a best friend who actually remembers that he's Gai's best friend. But at the same time...]
... it's only been a few days here. You haven't missed much.
Yes, that's right. I remember everything now. About Mana and Triton.
[He made himself forget it all because he couldn't stand to be powerless. Mana was the one who asked them for help and destroyed herself when they couldn't do anything.
That one summer Shu spent with Gai meant a lot to him and he felt that he shouldn't run away from his past anymore. Not while Gai's being forced to hide the truth from him because he was too weak to face it.]
There was a time where I'd call you my best friend.
Oh? Are you saying you wouldn't call me that anymore?
[This is a pretty heavy subject for them to be discussing, especially after what happened there in Roppongi Fort. And, to be honest, Gai isn't sure he WANTS to discuss it, because he knows that his own reaction ten years ago was... well, he had hardly been the best friend there either and he knows it.
It's easier for him to poke, to try to divert the subject and draw a reaction the way he normally does. Easier than trying to talk about this, at least. He'd been spared this trouble back in their world due to his death, but what does he do here?]
[That manages to catch Shu off guard. To be honest, he didn't really expect Gai to bring that up suddenly. A distraction's okay. It works in Shu's favor as well if Gai derails the topic. He didn't want to talk about what happened after Gai died. Or what he's planning on doing next. Both of which would be a little painful to discuss. ]
[Shu's more decisive now; this is a choice he's capable of making for himself. And if he would rather distance himself from Gai after all of that, well, Gai can't exactly blame him, not after he kept all of those things from Shu the entire time.]
[No, why would he want to distance himself from Gai ? He's tired of losing people he cares about. To be fair, Shu's hiding just as much as Gai did. There's a few things that Shu wasn't willing to tell Gai right away. It would only stress the both of them out.]
[And sure enough, it's just about ten minutes until Gai comes striding up. He doesn't even have to look around for Shu-- he'd recognize that silly little hair stripe anywhere.
... he hasn't noticed the whole arm thing just yet, but given how perceptive he is, it's only a matter of time. Right now he's just glad to see Shu again.]
[For a moment Shu looked quite surprised to see Gai. How long had it been since he last saw the Gai he knew? After seeing the truth in his late father's diary, Shu couldn't help but feel differently towards Gai. He wasn't willing to talk about that or his arm. They were both topics that made him somewhat uncomfortable.]
[There's something different about Shu; Gai picks up on that much right away. He looks older, his eyes those of someone who had seen far more than they ever should.
Shu's eyes look like his own, and that fact alone makes him vaguely uncomfortable and even more concerned as to just what happened after his death.]
Don't look so surprised to see me. I'm not a ghost here, no matter what you might think.
[What happened after Gai's death isn't something he needed to know about right away. Shu planned on keeping it hidden from Gai for as long as possible.
His death tore Ayase up badly and she needed the courage to stand again. Funeral Parlor wasn't active without Gai's presence.
A torrent of emotions fell on him and he found himself speechless for a while. ]
It was my fault that happened to you.
[He insisted on placing the blame upon himself. In the end he was the one who delivered the final blow.]
[Gai quirks up an eyebrow for a moment, somehow unsurprised that Shu is blaming himself for that. Really, didn't he learn anything from getting his memories back? But this is still a subject that Gai isn't comfortable discussing, so his reaction is to smirk and lash out with words, the only way he really knows how to respond.]
That's an impressive ego you've got there, thinking it's your fault when I was the one who asked you to do it in the first place.
[He knew that much. All of that was to save Mana. So why was Gai so persistent on becoming the unsightly king in Ward 24? It made no sense to him and he couldn't bring himself to force those problems on Gai. The Gai in front of him was his best friend and above all else he cherished the friendship they had.
Regarding Shu's memories: On that day he choose to forget everything. Forget in order to shield his weaker self from the truth of the Lost Christmas. For him it was all in the past and he was never keen on looking back much. That would mean thinking about all the people who died for his own causes and ideals. The weight of everything was heavy.
In Roppongi Gai was still alive. If he hadn't stabbed him then maybe Gai would have lived. Maybe he could have gone back to Funeral Parlor with them.
I'm basically a dead man. Gai had said something along those lines. Shu thought that things should have ended differently. ]
...Gai.
[Would Gai treat this scenario differently if he were to talk about what happened after his death? It wouldn't hurt to mention Ayase or Tsugumi.]
[Gai regards Shu for several lengthy seconds, eyes steely and face impassive, before at last he turns his head away. He'd known it would-- would hurt all of them, no matter how much they all tried to pretend that they were prepared for something like that. But he'd been living on borrowed time for years and his death had been an inevitability he'd only been putting off; the treatments had been growing less and less effective, and had he lived through the events of Roppongi Fort, he would eventually have had to reveal his condition to the others. They would have been hurt either way, perhaps more to learn that he'd been slowly dying for years. At least this way his death had been on his own terms.]
She's a member of Funeral Parlor. Everyone has to be prepared to face death at any time, be it their own or their comrades'.
[Ayase even resolved herself enough to want to kill Gai in Odaiba after the the truth unfolded.
Instinctively, he clutched at what was left of his right hand. 'Be prepared to face death at anytime' wouldn't exactly be something Shu could say he was okay with if he had been asked that without knowing the truth. Things were different now. The burdens and amount of blood he split to achieve his own ideals made him feel somewhat less attached to his own life. It'd be easier for him to accept death with what he experienced. His expression darkened considerably after reminding himself that he didn't have much time left.
Shu already used the second Void Genome and he probably wouldn't get a second chance after that. His mother already warned him about the risks. ]
Even I have to accept it because I'm a member of Funeral Parlor as well.
[And then he notes Shu clutching at his hand, only there's something odd about it, something that makes him raise an eyebrow even though he can't put his finger on just what it is. Something just feels off to his finely-honed instincts.]
... Shu. What happened after I died?
[From his tone of voice, it's clear that he means "what happened to you?" rather than "what happened?" SOMETHING happened to change Shu this much, and he's pretty sure that his death alone wasn't enough to have that much of an impact.]
[Gai's death did change some things. After his own death Funeral Parlor disbanded, Shu became the president of Tennozu. He wasn't exactly fit to be a leader. Unlike Gai who's good at that sort of thing naturally, it was a much more difficult task for Shu. Despite that, he knew his weaknesses and tried to change them so he could lead everyone into prosperity. Hare's death took him down a bumpy road. That's where most of his change came from.
In spite of everything, he hadn't changed completely. Some part of him was still the Shu that Gai was familiar with. Shu valued his friendship with Gai and he didn't want to hurt Gai by telling the truth. All he could do was honestly tell Gai that he couldn't say it.]
Sorry, I can't tell you.
[That apology came with a small smile that told Gai that he shouldn't worry about it. So much for that.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
voice; day 93
Sorry for not telling you I left.
[There's a short pause here indicated by a muffled sigh. He doesn't want to be going back to Gai for this. Not after he remembered everything, Triton included. There would be too much explaining involved.]
Is Inori okay?
[HIS PRIORITIES.]
voice; day 93
But "telling you I left" implies that he did so voluntarily, which raises a whole host of other questions, all of which Gai intends to ask at some point.]
You mean aside from being worried that you vanished without a word?
voice; day 93
He's going to have to explain this too, isn't he? Shu's not willing to give out all of the details yet. They may be too graphic and they still make him upset to some extent. ]
It couldn't be helped. I went home for a few months.
[He knew that Gai had Inori trapped somewhere in Odaiba and he set out to to save her. Gai doesn't need to know that either, but at least he can stop worrying about that for now. Shu was speaking to the Gai that he's always been used to and the one that he stabbed at Roppongi. It matched up with what Inori said to him earlier and Gai's story of him dying. Forget the white haired Gai for now.]
How much time has passed since I disappeared?
voice; day 93
[To say that Gai isn't curious about what happened in Roppongi and Tokyo after his death would be a lie. But if it's been a few months since the last thing Shu remembered before... that means that Shu has now experienced Gai's death for himself and everything that went along with it.
Shu must remember now-- about Mana, about Lost Christmas, about Triton. In a way, he's glad, because now he'll get the chance to spend time with a best friend who actually remembers that he's Gai's best friend. But at the same time...]
... it's only been a few days here. You haven't missed much.
voice; day 93
[He made himself forget it all because he couldn't stand to be powerless. Mana was the one who asked them for help and destroyed herself when they couldn't do anything.
That one summer Shu spent with Gai meant a lot to him and he felt that he shouldn't run away from his past anymore. Not while Gai's being forced to hide the truth from him because he was too weak to face it.]
There was a time where I'd call you my best friend.
voice; day 93
[This is a pretty heavy subject for them to be discussing, especially after what happened there in Roppongi Fort. And, to be honest, Gai isn't sure he WANTS to discuss it, because he knows that his own reaction ten years ago was... well, he had hardly been the best friend there either and he knows it.
It's easier for him to poke, to try to divert the subject and draw a reaction the way he normally does. Easier than trying to talk about this, at least. He'd been spared this trouble back in their world due to his death, but what does he do here?]
voice; day 93
[That manages to catch Shu off guard. To be honest, he didn't really expect Gai to bring that up suddenly. A distraction's okay. It works in Shu's favor as well if Gai derails the topic. He didn't want to talk about what happened after Gai died. Or what he's planning on doing next. Both of which would be a little painful to discuss. ]
Is it something you want me to do?
voice; day 93
[Shu's more decisive now; this is a choice he's capable of making for himself. And if he would rather distance himself from Gai after all of that, well, Gai can't exactly blame him, not after he kept all of those things from Shu the entire time.]
voice; day 93
I want to keep being your friend. Forever.
[That's only if you let him.]
voice; day 93
If that's what you want, I'm not going to say no.
[Translation: he missed you too, man. But what are feelings and how do they work? He kind of fails at that part just as much as Shu does.]
Where are you now?
voice; day 93
[For letting him say that much. How is Inori supposed to learn emotion from these two?]
Near the library.
Are you at work?
voice; day 93
No, my shift doesn't start for a few hours. I can come and meet you there.
voice; day 93
[To be honest, Shu's not sure if he wanted Gai to come over right now. He failed to mention his arm problem and didn't want to tell him what happened.
Gai's made him somewhat anxious, but despite that his expression remained unchanged. ]
voice; day 93
[Shu are you forgetting that he went to work with the Apocalypse Virus? Gosh. Just be a good boy and stay there so he can come take you back home.]
I'll be there in a few minutes-- don't go anywhere.
voice; day 93
I'll stay still and behave until you come.
[Hanging up now but yes he's keeping his word this time.]
action; day 93
... he hasn't noticed the whole arm thing just yet, but given how perceptive he is, it's only a matter of time. Right now he's just glad to see Shu again.]
action; day 93
Gai.
action; day 93
Shu's eyes look like his own, and that fact alone makes him vaguely uncomfortable and even more concerned as to just what happened after his death.]
Don't look so surprised to see me. I'm not a ghost here, no matter what you might think.
action; day 93
His death tore Ayase up badly and she needed the courage to stand again. Funeral Parlor wasn't active without Gai's presence.
A torrent of emotions fell on him and he found himself speechless for a while. ]
It was my fault that happened to you.
[He insisted on placing the blame upon himself. In the end he was the one who delivered the final blow.]
action; day 93
That's an impressive ego you've got there, thinking it's your fault when I was the one who asked you to do it in the first place.
action; day 93
Regarding Shu's memories: On that day he choose to forget everything. Forget in order to shield his weaker self from the truth of the Lost Christmas. For him it was all in the past and he was never keen on looking back much. That would mean thinking about all the people who died for his own causes and ideals. The weight of everything was heavy.
In Roppongi Gai was still alive. If he hadn't stabbed him then maybe Gai would have lived. Maybe he could have gone back to Funeral Parlor with them.
I'm basically a dead man. Gai had said something along those lines. Shu thought that things should have ended differently. ]
...Gai.
[Would Gai treat this scenario differently if he were to talk about what happened after his death? It wouldn't hurt to mention Ayase or Tsugumi.]
Your death hurt Ayase badly.
action; day 93
She's a member of Funeral Parlor. Everyone has to be prepared to face death at any time, be it their own or their comrades'.
action; day 93
Instinctively, he clutched at what was left of his right hand. 'Be prepared to face death at anytime' wouldn't exactly be something Shu could say he was okay with if he had been asked that without knowing the truth. Things were different now. The burdens and amount of blood he split to achieve his own ideals made him feel somewhat less attached to his own life. It'd be easier for him to accept death with what he experienced. His expression darkened considerably after reminding himself that he didn't have much time left.
Shu already used the second Void Genome and he probably wouldn't get a second chance after that. His mother already warned him about the risks. ]
Even I have to accept it because I'm a member of Funeral Parlor as well.
action; day 93
[And then he notes Shu clutching at his hand, only there's something odd about it, something that makes him raise an eyebrow even though he can't put his finger on just what it is. Something just feels off to his finely-honed instincts.]
... Shu. What happened after I died?
[From his tone of voice, it's clear that he means "what happened to you?" rather than "what happened?" SOMETHING happened to change Shu this much, and he's pretty sure that his death alone wasn't enough to have that much of an impact.]
action; day 93
In spite of everything, he hadn't changed completely. Some part of him was still the Shu that Gai was familiar with. Shu valued his friendship with Gai and he didn't want to hurt Gai by telling the truth. All he could do was honestly tell Gai that he couldn't say it.]
Sorry, I can't tell you.
[That apology came with a small smile that told Gai that he shouldn't worry about it. So much for that.]
action; day 93
action; day 93